James Card

My Mother, The Car

Not all parents are created equal. Some are sleek sports cars, some are posh luxury cars, some are more like pick-up trucks or jeeps, others are like a station wagon or mini-van, and others like a tiny economy car. Some are more suited to their tasks than others, and some are in better condition than others; some are in perfect condition and others are in desperate need of repair - barely functioning. Yours may be "just a car", or may be a beloved member of the family with its own nickname and be painful to part with when trade-in time comes; or maybe yours is cussed rather than discussed.

Think about how your parents functioned for you during your childhood. Now, pretend you are describing them as a car. Don't try to describe what kind of car they would or did drive.

O = If my parent were a car they would be like...
N = The kind of parent/car if feel I needed as a child...

This parent/car is called:
O N Father / Mother
O N Dad / Mom
O N Daddy / Mommy
O N Papa / Mama
O N Paw / Maw
O N _______________

O N Always the latest model
O N Late-Model - never more than two years old
O N Not outdated - three - five years old
O N When are you going to trade that in - six - ten years old
O N Hey, its paid for - ten - fifteen years old
O N Not yet a classic - 16 - 20 years old
O N Historic Vehicle

O N Sleek and flashy two-seater sports car
O N Basic family sedan - "ho-hum"
O N "Wanna-be" sports car - family sedan disguised with fancy wheels and racing stripes
O N Stripped-down, tiny economy model
O N Huge luxurious touring car
O N Station wagon or mini-van - always practical
O N Pickup truck
O N Jeep

O N If its not new, I don't think its ever been driven.
O N Near-new, well cared for
O N Used, but not abused
O N "How old did you say this car was?"
O N Well-worn, but still got a lot of good life left
O N "If I were you, I'd start shopping for a new car, yesterday"
O N Yes, it still runs (sometimes)
O N I'm afraid to wash it, that caked-on mud is what holds it together.
O N Call a wrecker

O N Immaculate
O N Sharp, clean
O N Looks nice, could use a little attention
O N "Wash me"
O N A few scratches and parking-lot dents
O N Could use a paint job
O N When I go to town I don't get parking tickets, I get fined for littering
O N Portable junkyard

O N Starts the first time, every time - takes a licking and keeps on ticking
O N Why would I join an auto club? I never need a tow truck.
O N Well, its not a lemon
O N My mechanic sends me Christmas cards
O N My mechanic sends me birthday and Christmas gifts
O N It gets me to the corner grocery store, and sometimes home again
O N When I leave home I make sure I have bus fare

O N Soft, smooth, quiet ride, kind of lulls you to sleep
O N Good road feel and good solid support, you can feel the bumps but they're not annoying
O N "Maybe it needs new shock absorbers"
O N The seats are too hard, and the springs so stiff I feel every little bump
O N OK on smooth roads, but anything else is bone-jarring
O N This isn't a car, its a torture chamber

O N Leaves everything else behind, never been passed
O N All the power I ever need, and then some
O N I never have trouble, even on long steep hills
O N Pretty good most of the time, but hills or heavy loads can slow it down some
O N "I sure wish I had ordered the larger engine"
O N Slow but sure, it beats walking
O N Sometimes I have to push it - downhill

O N Super safe - it takes 10 minutes to get strapped in, car has a maximum speed of 10 MPH
O N Extra safe - has all the latest safety features, I just can't figure out how to get out of the car
O N Good crash protection - passengers survive even major collisions with only minor injuries
O N A few weak spots but most drivers can compensate for them
O N More than a few quirks, requires a skilled driver
O N It goes fast but the steering is shaky and the brakes are weak
O N An accident looking for a place to happen
O N Suitable only for a demolition derby
O N The president has declared this car a national disaster area

You may want to complete another form for your other parent.

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