By James Card
Yesterday went well here, we were at the corps (church) most of the day. Your telephone call was very uplifting for me, especially when Master chose to speak with me. I'm sorry I didn't recognize Master immediately, he caught me by surprise. I had assumed that Master preferred to stay in the background and not have direct contact with the outside world. Once again I am reminded that it is risky to assume anything. So I lost what I consider to be a precious opportunity to strengthen my relationship with the "Master" part of you. Still, it was very encouraging to have Master volunteer to talk with me; I hope that our future contacts are less disappointing for both of us.
It is so good to see the progress as God continues His healing process within you! I am getting more excited about you and our relationship as each week goes by. There will still be difficult times for both of us, but I rejoice in the positive changes they are bringing to our lives.
After talking with [a friend at church] (standing in the parking lot for half an hour after the meeting) last night I think that it might be a good time to begin writing our book about all of these things. [Our friend] said that she (and other corps members) doesn't "know what to do" to maintain the supportive, caring kind of relationship with you that she feels is an important part of our life in the corps. She knows that it is not always Carol she is interacting with, but feels very uncertain about what to do or say when one of the alters is out. We talked about it for a while and she suggested two things: a time when we can discuss this among the interested and supportive members of the congregation; and second, go ahead and write the book.
So, since all of this affects you more than anyone else, I wanted you to have the opportunity to think about it before you get home and encounter the ideas in conversation around the corps. Would a meeting with the supportive members of the congregation, to discuss your needs and how they should respond to you and the alters, be helpful for you -- or would it be threatening and overwhelming? Similarly, should we write a "HELP! My Friend Has Multiple Personalities" book to help them, and possibly Christians who are members of other congregations which include multiples, understand how to respond in a loving, caring and supportive way to the needs of SRA/MPD survivors? Would that cause you to feel like a circus freak, or would it be a positive way of helping others to help you meet your needs in these difficult times in your life?
I've got to go, it's almost time for Jamie to go to school. I guess I'll have to wait until you get home to carry on lengthy discussions of serious stuff like books and meetings.
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." I John 4:7-8
I love you! and I'm looking forward to seeing you again
"I don't know what to do." With this comment one of our friends, a lay leader in our congregation, expressed her frustration regarding her interactions with my wife and her alternate personalities. Here was an experienced Christian who had overcome many difficulties in her own life, confused about how to express her concern and loving support for a Christian sister who was a wounded and suffering child of God.
How do I express my love, care, and concern in a supportive, uplifting way? How do I keep from causing further pain or confusion? What needs does this hurting friend have that I can help her fulfill? How can I help? We will attempt to provide useful, honest, meaningful answers to these questions.
There are several theories currently under debate among mental health professionals regarding the origin, nature, and effective treatment of the set of behaviors referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder. Please understand that only God can provide authoritative answers to the many questions we have about multiple personalities. The information presented here is based only upon the authority of our own experience, and the understanding we have gained from that experience. While the ideas expressed here may seem "wise" or "authoritative" please remember the intent of this book and the fact that we are not psychologists, psychiatrists, or theologians -- we are everyday people who are learning to live with the experience known as "multiple personality disorder". We will present the information which best matches our experiences and understanding, with little concern for how it may or may not fit with any of the formal theories regarding MPD.
Since man is created in God's image, what is God like? "God is love." (I John 4:16) is probably the most concise answer possible. Although this answer does not fully describe God's character it is probably the best, most accurate, and most-encompassing three-word answer available. Love is the most enduring theme throughout the Bible -- from Genesis to Revelation. The simplest presentation of the Gospel message often begins "For God so loved the world..." (John 3:16) and for many of our toddlers the first hymn they learn is "Jesus Loves Me".
Yes, God is almighty, omniscient, holy, jealous, merciful, and the list goes on. And yes, we have each inherited those attributes as part of our human character -- at least to the extent which is allowed by our finite, temporal existence on this earth. And unfortunately, this image of God in us has been marred by sin: we have deliberately rejected God's loving plan for our lives and have attempted to remake ourselves, destroying or distorting substantial portions of God's image in the process, seeking our own glory and satisfaction. Most reasoning men would conclude that love is perhaps the predominant theme of the Bible, certainly of the New Testament. The work of Jesus was to restore the image of God within us, His Spirit dwells within to empower us to overcome sin so that we might share His glorious image within us. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so!
This portion of God's image in us, the capacity to give and receive love, is critical to our health and wellbeing -- we do not function well at all without love. Dr. Gerald G. May, a Christian psychiatrist, in his book "Addiction and Grace" asserts that love is the most basic and prominent feature of our inherent image of God:
"The love that creates us may be haunting, but it is not enslaving, it is eternally present, yet endlessly open. It seems to me that free will is given to us for a purpose: so that we may choose freely, without coercion or manipulation, to love God in return, and to love one another in a similarly perfect way. This is the deepest desire of our hearts. In other words, our creation is by love, in love, and for love. It is both our birthright and our authentic destiny to participate in this creative loving, and freedom of will is essential for our participation to occur."
Love is a critical element, a cornerstone, in the foundation of our lives.
Dissociative ability is present in all of us to some degree. In its milder form it resembles daydreaming -- the ability to "detach" ourselves from our current surroundings and temporarily create a separate "reality" or consciousness in our minds. This daydreaming dissociation is often a response to being compelled to remain in an environment which is uninteresting or unpleasant. The development of multiple personalities is a more complete manifestation of dissociation. With daydreaming there remains some awareness of the current surroundings -- the consciousness or self-awareness is unbroken. With multiple personalities there is a break in consciousness, a "loss of time", a period of amnesia. In this form, dissociation modifies not only our current experience or consciousness of reality, it also modifies our permanent memory.
The segregation of the current experience of trauma and its resultant emotional pain into a separate area of the mind allows the primary, normal conscious state of the mind (the core personality) to function relatively normally. This ability to separate oneself from the pain and damage of the trauma enables a person to go on as if the damage had not occurred, at least there is no conscious memory of it. This response, the suppression of memories associated with pain, is normal. We all use this memory suppression technique, that is why we find it much easier to remember the "good old days" of our childhood. We block out the memories of painful things and focus on pleasant memories.
Persons with multiple personalities have refined this ability and used it to protect themselves from pain and to enable themselves to continue functioning in spite of it. In their abusive environment they may be forced to endure almost unimaginable pain, and there is no way for them to get help or to take time out for the wounds to heal. The memory suppression and amnesic dissociation of multiple personalities is their means of survival. The emotional, mental, and spiritual injuries which they have neither the opportunity nor the ability to heal in the midst of their abuse are attached to separate personalities (who then may become specialists in handling that type of trauma or situation). This insulates these experiences from consciousness (except for when that alternate personality is active) and allows the individual to continue with life in a seemingly normal way. The injuries do not heal, they are stored away, sealed off until some later time when they can be processed.
This coping mechanism, of developing and switching to an alternate consciousness, may cease to be used when the abuse stops or it may continue to function throughout the person's life as a response to the stresses of daily living. In almost all cases the person (at least the core personality) is unaware of the process. In some cases the functioning of the system of alternate personalities is interrupted by further trauma or stress which either forces a switch to an alternate coping mechanism (e.g. seeking professional counseling) or requires such an adjustment of the person's patterns of stress management that the existence of alternate personalities becomes obvious.
Although mental health professionals refer to this pattern of behavior as Multiple Personality Disorder we prefer to call it Multiple Personality Gift. We don't intend to imply that this is a desirable or preferred response to stress. We don't see multiple personalities as a manifestation of evil spirits living inside a person or influencing them. (We'll discuss the role of demons or evil spirits in a later chapter.) We don't view multiple personalities as a flaw or weakness of character. We don't consider multiple personalities to be an indicator of spiritual weakness or lack of spiritual growth. We understand this response to be a natural function of the incredibly complex physical / emotional / mental / spiritual creation which God designed in us.
It is this gift, the ability to dissociate from unbearable pain, which enables the fragile developing child to overcome incredible physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual damage and go on living a useful, productive, nominally normal life. It is a tool to be used until better means can be developed of coping with life's stresses. It is a normal, natural response to trauma in the life of a growing child which can be "outgrown" or replaced with other, more effective, means of stress management.
A large percentage of multiple personalities individuals ( we shall refer to them simply as "multiples" for the remainder of this book) are survivors of satanic ritual abuse (SRA). They have been forced to participate in the rituals performed by groups who worship Satan. These rituals are often centered around sexual activities and sacrificial killings of animals and people, especially infants. The satanic cults, because of the illegal nature of their activities, operate in secrecy; protecting the privacy of their rituals by using some fairly sophisticated means -- but primarily by fear and intimidation.
One of the skills these cults have developed is the intentional generation of alternate personalities in their young victims. This gives them a much greater degree of control, by training or "programming" the alternate personalities (we shall just call them "alters" from this point forward). It is common for alters to be trained to believe that if any part of the system of alters has conscious memories of the ritual abuse they had participated in, or especially if any report of those activities was made to any other person, the person (core personality) must be killed. It is like having an internal assassin. This is why many SRA survivors commit suicide, as the memory repression and amnesic dissociation begins to break down in later life they may be weakened enough to succumb to the cult-programmed command to kill themselves.
In addition to the fact that victims who remember will often self-destruct, the cult is further protected by the fact that multiples are usually not deemed to be credible witnesses. Even if they report the cult's activities and manage to get enough people to believe them to get a case to court, which jury is going to take seriously the testimony of this "crazy person"? After all, there are dozens of psychiatrists and other expert witnesses who will testify that this person is suffering from a terrible mental disease.
Beyond the above factors, it is generally recognized that these cults often include in their membership some of the most prominent individuals in the community -- doctors, judges and lawyers, educators, police and other law enforcement officials, and even ministers and other leaders of Christian churches. Even if the cult's activities are reported to believing and non-cult-influenced officials, and even if they manage to gather enough incriminating evidence for a trial (which is usually very difficult) the evidence and/or witnesses often disappear before the trial. In short, they have developed very effective methods of protecting themselves from public scrutiny and prosecution.
Perhaps the most devastating part of SRA is the deliberate destruction, deprivation, and desecration of love. The Satanists deliberately and systematically distort and destroy the victim's understanding of love. Children are told that Satan is now their father, that their parents and families don't love them, that the Satanists do love them, and that they are worthless and deserve the terrible tortures which are inflicted upon them. They are forced to renounce any loving relationship which they may have developed with friends or family members -- and forced to watch the torturous murder of their friends if they don't comply.
We have tried to build safe, loving relationships in every part of Carol's life. Since her life was centered in the activities of the church (and especially since we are both members of the church's pastoral staff) it was natural that her first level of support (beyond the mental health professionals providing her care) was found in selected members of the congregation. These people were accepting, believing even the most bizarre stories about abuse and the mechanisms developed to defend against it. They were loving and supportive, not shying away because they were uncomfortable or unwilling to listen, holding her hand during frightening times, praying earnestly and fervently at a moment's notice. At first they didn't know any of the details of her abuse or exactly what she was dealing with, they often did not understand why she reacted to them in strange ways -- but they were always loving.
Later in the process of recovery we shared more details about the abuse and its current effects on our lives. We invited all the members of the congregation to attend a fellowship time during which we explained the basic issues involved (essentially a brief summary of the material in this book) and answered questions freely about multiple personalities, SRA, and specific alters and their functions and needs. This enabled these fellow Christians who had been faithfully praying for us for many months to take a more direct and active role in rebuilding the love necessary for healthy survival. It gave the alters freedom to interact with these loving, caring people directly, without having to shield all their activities behind a false front which represented the core personality. It made it more safe for every part of her to learn about real love.
Family members are also a critical element of rebuilding the capacity to give and receive love. This can be extremely difficult for survivors of abuse. Even if none of the family members were involved in the abuse there may be feelings that the family should have protected the child. If the family was dysfunctional in some way -- even though they were not directly connected to the abuse -- it is probable that some aspects of the relationships between family members will feel unloving or abusive to the survivor. And even worse, in many cases part or all of the abuse was inflicted by family members.
These family relationships developed over many years, are deeply ingrained, and are difficult and traumatic to change. Some survivors find it necessary to cut themselves off from any contact with family members in order to protect themselves from relationships which still feel abusive. This is painful for everyone involved -- family members often feel that their actions have never been unloving, unkind, or abusive in any way -- and the rejection they feel at being "accused" and cut off by the survivor is tremendous.
Survivors find it difficult to discuss the issues of abuse from the past with their parents, siblings, and other family members. They must proceed carefully, exploring how the others will accept their current experience of multiple personalities and the implications that it makes about their shared past. If some family members can learn to accept and love the survivor, including all the alters, it will be a tremendous boost in the process of recovery. The willing and loving participation of family members can help clarify some of the awful memories which surface during recovery. It can be more helpful in some ways than months or years of professional therapy.
Coworkers and others in secular or casual relationships with the multiple often must be shielded from any knowledge of the existence of alters. This is primarily due to the stigma attached to any form of "mental illness". When society learns to view the development and functioning of alternate personalities in some persons as a natural response to trauma, and learns to react to multiples in an accepting and caring way, it may be possible for alters to freely perform their functions in assisting the survivor to cope with the stresses of life.
For now, most multiples find it absolutely essential to hide that fact from society. They have alters who develop the ability to speak and act very much like the core personality in order to disguise their existence and functioning. They may live in constant fear of being exposed and having to explain their unusual behavior or situation. This condition tends to add to the stresses of recovery, and makes the process more difficult and time-consuming.
It is our recommendation that multiples and their friends be cautious about revealing the existence of multiple personalities. We feel that if there are "outsiders" who can be trusted with this knowledge and trained to respond in positive, helpful ways it could go far in assisting the process of recovery. We view that as one of the best ways to help rebuild the foundation of love for the survivor. Unfortunately, these people represent a much greater risk, they have less motivation to be helpful and supportive and may actually cause further trauma.
DON'T try to be a healer, helper, or hero. She needs you to be a friend, not a doctor, therapist, or rescuer. She has a doctor and therapist, and it is too late now to rescue her from past abuse -- and she is able to protect herself now from any current abusive situations.
Above all else, try to maintain a calm, assured attitude of friendship and loving support. If you are interacting with one of the alters reassure them that it is OK for them to be here now, unless it is a situation which really does require the core personality. Most of the time the alters work together in a cooperative way to ensure that the needs of the whole person are met -- and if one of the alters is active it is probably an indication that it is time for them to accomplish their function. Occasionally, switching to an alter is a response to an unusually stressful situation. In either case, it is probably not important to ask for the core personality to return. If the alter is uncomfortable being "out" in a particular situation then they will most likely retreat to the safety of being inside and send one of the others or the core personality out. Our goal has been to allow each of the alters as much time "out" as possible, to allow them to perform their function freely (sometimes providing some redirection of efforts in more positive directions), and to build new and healthy relationships based on love rather than fear.
We are happy to answer your questions about what happened in the past and what is going on now, especially when it can help you to understand our needs and how you can be supportive. Your curiosity is natural and expected but please don't pry -- be sensitive to her reluctance to discuss painful or private matters.
Each of the alters has a unique set of feelings, attitudes, skills, abilities, and desires. One may be a good singer, one may have artistic talent as a painter or sculptor, one may have a strong mechanical aptitude and be able to fix nearly anything, one may be deaf or blind, they may each have different allergies and other medical problems. It is not uncommon to find alters who have knowledge or abilities which the core personality has no awareness of and can't explain where, when, or how the alter may have learned them.
For SRA survivors common triggers may include anything which resembles the Satanic rituals: people standing or sitting in a circle, especially with their hands joined; chanting or rote repetition of words; candles or open fires; sacrificial altars, or tables which are similar to or symbolic of altars; ritual drinking or eating; coffins, funerals, or anything related to a dead animal or person; snakes, goats, insects, owls, or even household pets may have been sacrificed or used in rituals or torture. It is tragic to realize that this list includes most of the common activities encountered in the worship meetings of many Christian churches. This is because the Satanists have deliberately profaned the elements of Christian worship. This makes it extremely difficult for most SRA survivors to seek help and support from the people who should be best able to provide it. Our suggestion for survivors who wish to participate in Christian worship and service but have trouble finding a church which does not trigger all these old memories is to try one of the denominations which deliberately avoids rituals as a normal part of their worship. We suggest The Salvation Army (which happens to be where God placed us to serve Him), the Society of Friends (Quakers), or the Mennonite churches.
We have learned to recognize that some of the alters may not realize that many years and many miles separate them from the abuse they have known; when they come to consciousness they may only know that they are surrounded by strange people in a strange place -- it is not surprising that they might be frightened and angry. Even if they know where they are and who they are with we must remember that they may have been trained to distrust everyone, especially anyone who claims to be their friend. It may take months or years of consistent loving and caring contact to overcome that programming, and it may have to be repeated with each alter.
Our best advice for friends of intractable alters is this: remember that I love this person, all of this person, no matter how unpleasant they may be right now. We have had to fight the tendency to prefer those alters who are usually pleasant to be around and to shun or discount the fears and feelings of those who cause us discomfort. We spent some months shrugging off the tongue-lashings we received from one of the alters, saying "Oh, that's just the way she is." We finally realized that she is part of this complex person that we love, and her feelings, needs, and concerns were every bit as important as those of any of the other personalities. It was after that that she began to feel that perhaps she really was loved, and she became somewhat more cooperative and pleasant to work with.
We have not done any research to support this answer but our experience says that it is extremely unlikely that she would "get stuck" as an alter. As for the "real person" -- the real person is, and always has been, a composite of all these alternate "modes of consciousness". The goal we are working toward is the re-integration of these "splintered" personalities, toward a time when the skills and feelings of the various alters are always and constantly active and available, not hidden away until each alter has their time "out". The real person is the one who will have all the attributes of each of the alters available to them constantly rather than on a time-share basis.
If they feel a sense of rejection from you, or any sense that you may have betrayed whatever trust they have placed in you, it may be traumatic for them. However, such a setback in the healing process is certain to be less damaging than the original abuse, and the process of working to overcome that breach in the loving relationship you are both trying to establish will provide further strength and understanding for both of you.
It is VERY IMPORTANT to distinguish between demons and alters. Some events, activities, or attitudes may seem to have a demonic origin (and at their root may indeed have) but actually be coming from a powerful, frightened, and angry alter. There are two dangers here: the first is that many mental health professionals will deny or severely downplay the possibility of demonic activity in the life of a survivor. There are several good reasons for this from their point of view. Perhaps the most important one is: how would you like to be told that the evil which is the source of your problems is located inside of you and that it is beyond your control?
The second danger lies at the opposite extreme. There are some spiritual advisors, claiming to have the gift of discernment and power to exorcise, who see demons everywhere; some who even claim that there is no such thing as multiple personalities, only multiple demons. There is no way that an alter can feel loved if they are accused of being a demon! There is not enough space here to allow a full discussion of this subject, we recommend Dr. James G. Friesen's book "Uncovering the Mystery of MPD" for a more detailed discussion. Our best summary is this: recognize the reality both of alternate personalities and of demons, be careful to distinguish between them, and take the action which is appropriate for each (love the alters, exorcise the demons).
You may be called upon to assist your multiple spouse in controlling and limiting the activities of certain alters. Alters who are children may require special attention like trips to play in the park, ice cream cones, teddy bears or other toys. We encourage these activities by alters at appropriate times and in appropriate settings. In order to preserve some sense of dignity it is important that child alters have limits placed on their activities. After all it would seem strange to see a 30+-year-old adult sitting in the floor playing jacks or marbles in the middle of a shopping mall -- when there are no children nearby.
Other alters may choose activities which violate the wishes of the core personality, or agreements which you have made for your marriage. An example of this might be an alter who wants to smoke cigarettes although the core personality is a non-smoker and you have an agreement in your marriage that neither partner would smoke. You may be called upon to mediate such disagreements and to help implement the decisions made.
If your spouse was abused sexually it is quite possible that modifications to your (the couple's) established patterns of sexual activity may be required, perhaps even total abstinence for a period of weeks or months.
Another source of problems was the development of differing relationships with the various alters, some of whom undermined the parental authority of the core personality. It is hardly fair to place upon our children the burden of ensuring that they are seeking permission only from the core personality.
Our policy with our children, as well as with everyone else, is to provide them with as much information as is practical regarding the nature of the problems we are dealing with, our goals and methods of recovery, and the ways they can help the process. It can be very frightening for a child to realize that there is something wrong with their parent, they are "sick", and not know if they are going to die or if other terrible things might happen. We have found that education is the single most important step in enlisting the loving support of others. We have also found that children are generally much more accepting of the oddities in behavior which multiples often present. They are more free and open in their relationships with multiples than many adults we have encountered, they just accept everything at face value -- when they have some understanding of what is happening.
For children of multiples it is especially important that they have a clear understanding of the needs of multiples and the plans and goals for recovery. It is helpful for them to understand some of the background which caused the development of multiple personalities.
This process of educating children must take into account the age, development, and stability of each child. Older children may wish to know more details regarding the abuse, for younger children it is probably best to answer questions in a more general way. A statement like "When Mom was a little girl there was someone who hurt her very much, and she needed the help of the alters in order to help her keep growing." may be adequate for young children. With one young child of one of our friends it was most convenient when she saw a "grown-up" talking and acting like a four-year-old (who called herself "Karen") to explain that she was playing The Karen Game. This was enough explanation to put things at ease among all of us, and each time she visits she asks if we can play The Karen Game. Our best suggestion here is to make sure that there is freedom for the child to ask questions about the past and about the current process of recovery, and to answer those questions as openly and honestly as possible.
It is possible that you, as a parent, may have been an abuser or may have been passive in not protecting your child from the known abusive actions of others. In this case your sense of guilt may be even stronger. It is also possible that your own memory repression mechanisms are blocking your memories of that period in your family's life. While recognizing the likelihood of these difficulties, we must point out that there is hope that you can build a new, healthy, and stronger relationship with your child. God is in the business of changing lives, that's why He sent His Son to intervene in our lives and restore us to love.
Your child, as a survivor, may harbor strong feelings of resentment, anger, or even hatred toward you --and what may make it worse for both of you is that you may not understand why. Some of these feelings are based upon actions, attitudes, and perceptions which are decades old, it may take much effort and a strong commitment from both of you to develop a new loving relationship. Revising the ways you interact with one another can be difficult, even painful or traumatic, but it is essential to rebuilding the love in your lives.
The changes required will not be easy to discuss, there may be periods of intense disagreement, and the changes required can sometimes be quite subtle. As an example, we are aware of a parent who often told their child "You are sure lucky that you married the person you did, they are so good to you." What the child heard was something like this: "You sure don't deserve to have such a fine person as a spouse, I don't understand why they put up with you." At the same time the parents intended message may have been something like this: "I am proud of you. I am happy to see that you made a good choice in selecting a spouse." Resolving such difficulties in the communications upon which we build our relationships can demand a good deal of patience, tolerance, and commitment to stick with it.
One of the greatest benefits that family members can provide in the healing of survivors is the clarification and verification of memories. Unfortunately, this is also one of the most difficult things for family members to do because it may require them to think back to times and events they would rather not remember, especially if they are also survivors of abuse.
For some families, it may be necessary to focus on the present issues of healing and rebuilding loving relationships, and deliberately choose not to discuss the times of abuse. If the family members decide against this plan, we would suggest that each member of the family have some source of non-involved support available: either a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional or perhaps a pastor who has an understanding of the issues involved and agrees to provide counseling.
In preparing this for submission on-line, it became obvious that it is due for revision. Most of this material was written about three years ago and we have grown quite a bit since then. We have also developed contacts with other multiples and their friends -- and our knowledge of the problems that others encounter has expanded. Therefore, if you (the reader) are a multiple or the friend of a multiple, and can offer suggestions about how to make this information more accurate, useful, complete, or easy to read -- PLEASE offer us your suggestions.
COPYRIGHT -- Although I have no intention of selling this to a publisher (I could not feel good about profiting from the pain of others, and God provides adequately for our material needs) or otherwise sell it, I do maintain it as copyrighted original work. You are welcome to copy and/or distribute it freely to help others as long as it remains intact (including this final section) and unaltered.
REVISIONS -- I view this as very much a "work in progress" and will be making revisions from time to time to reflect our continuing growth and increasing understanding. I feel that one person should remain ultimately responsible for the content of this document so, although I am actively seeking input from others in the community of multiples and friends, I would ask that you respect my authorship rights and not distribute your own revisions directly.
DISTRIBUTION -- I have distributed printed copies of this document to various friends over the past three years. We also use it as an introduction when we are beginning work with therapists or hospital nursing staff who are new to our case -- it helps explain how we are handling our healing process. This particular version was specially prepared for electronic distribution.
May you and all your friends (whether multiple or, like me, an "only") find something here which helps. We wish you peace and REAL (safe) LOVE during these difficult times.
James Card -- May 1995James Card Post Office Box 864 Newman, CA 95360 E-Mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
© Copyright 1996 - James Card - Permission is granted for non-commercial use of all original material.
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